Have you ever thought of seeing yourself in the midst of a relationship wherein trust has already been taken away for some reasons that governs teenage life? How would you handle it? Do you have what it takes to fix trust after it has been broken? It’s controversial indeed, but this question creates a certain fear in my heart. In which I really want keep away from circumstances like this. This fear starts the moment I chose to enter the chaotic kingdom of love. I could still remember the moment when I end up being a stranger even if I know for the fact that it may endanger my student life. I am blind of this reality for in spite the fact that I already know the possible consequences I still insist to pursue this yearnings of mine. Never did it come from my expectations that I will be stuck in a serious relationship that could depreciate me entirely.
My decision of saying yes to commitment (boyfriend-girlfriend relationship) never appears to be that easy. It takes me enough time and courage to eventually throw on a fixed resolution. Being young and immature always bother me, I hate when I see myself in trouble of issues like this. I wasn’t brought up equipped with knowledge and skills to handle these concerns. Even if my discrepancies seems to be vividly implicated, I still took the risk of saying “Yes” to my special boy.
See, how arduous it is for me to decide on this matter? It is like a matter of life and death- what an exaggeration, but its true indeed! An innocent young adult as I am, on my way upon accepting the challenge, comes a variety of superb expectations that our relationship will work for a long period of time. Who would have ever thought that I am not certain of his love, if in the first place he is showing exceptional acts of love and care? Overwhelmed as I am, I trust him even if there is something inside of me that dictates me not to do so.
I venture my trust unto our relationship with the hope of making it work for a long period of time. That it may guarantee me the fulfillment of my aim that it will serve as my inspiration as I traverse the messy road of my teenage life.
I admit it, the fear that this relationship will be put into trash troubles me every now and then, but I have to face it with vigor and the best way to start doing such is to simply trust him that he will take good care of me throughout the days. And that he will never hurt me. And finally he will love me more that how much I love him. I know I am oblige to shower him with the trust he requires from me which is not too much but also not less than what is expected of me. Behind this, is the fear that still remains to be a curse that annoyed, annoying and will always keep on annoying me.
What could really take this fear away from me? Nothing less but these words of inspiration from my boyfriend which he remarkably chose to believe in, that I may not always trust the person I love but I can always love the person whom I trust. It may not totally wipe the fear away but at least it gave me reasons to go on.
This struggle of mine leads me to realizations that, you have to take time, lots of time, to let an idea grow from within and when you sign on to something, along with fear, there will be issues of trust, deep trust to one another to make it work accordingly.
