I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

I am now in the stage of life called adolescence, wherein I am encountering a dilemma- identity crisis. I always catch myself in confusion. I still don’t know myself entirely. I need others to supplement my self analysis. Here’s a glimpse at my possessed personality.

“I’m already 17, yet I still couldn’t consider myself as a lady, but I know I’m no longer worthy to be considered as a girl.” Then, who really am I?

What shines the most in me is my strong sense of purpose. I am an ambitious individual, I keep on dreaming and aspiring, I just love to see myself visualising the future that lies ahead. My goals are many, they cover my entire being, and these things regulate me. Without these, I could have been considered as the most worthless person ever exists. The passion is burning inside me- I want to be an educator, a journalist, and a doctor, I have all of these as my future professions because I am inclined into public service. It’s a fulfilment when I am able to help others even without expecting anything in return.

How can I grant these yearnings of mine, if my personality also reflects my discrepancies, weaknesses and negative attributes? I hate myself of being so impatient and strict- when these things put me into stress, displaced aggression ad my coping mechanism. I just couldn’t escape from the complications that it may bring, for these might jeopardize my healthy mind setting of a bright future that lies ahead.

These are the two sides of my personality. Upon assessing, my analysis tells me to grow and live life according to my desired purpose. I have to be innovative; I must not implement too much initiative, for I really have the tendency to be ruthless. It’d not on what will I do, but it really matters on how I categorize my attributes according to relevance and eventually develop those. I have to handle myself considering my strengths and limitations.
Then, who really am I? Well, I am still a young adult, who keeps on dreaming and aiming to become a lady with a designated purpose to serve the public. These goals motivate me to overcome my weaknesses and eventually become a well-developed being.